The Smart, The Strange, And The Imbecilic
by Noodle12
Summary: The lives of three people change in the world of TF2, as one loud-mouthed Bostonian girl lands in the arms of her childhood friend, while an experimental mute-like lady shows off her creative talent, and what about that strange creature in the suit and gas mask? Why is that character so close towards Ms. Pauling? Yeah, this is one of THOSE stories...erm...whatever THAT means!


**Yeah...Different take on the newest version of the fic I did a while ago. Its the "serious" version of my crack fic "Meet The IRS".**

**I'm going to be changing alot of shit because I've got some weird ideas that I wanted to try out.**

**Just don't blame me if this fic ALSO turns into crack...you all should know by now that I suck ass at serious shit and can't write nothin XD**

**P.S. Thanks to TheSoundOfAWESOME for helping me set up the first chapter. I shall credit anyone who wants to help me make this shit serious! :D**

**meh. here we gooooooooooooooooooooooooo :P**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TF2. That's obvious enough.**

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"Fuckin' stupid Goddamn cocksuckin' filthy mutant bitch! How the HELL did she get in? Why didn't they pick me? Y'know, I got all the qualifications, and what does she got? Huh? She's got huge freakin' boobs an' a teeny-tiny li'l freakin' waist...beautiful freakin' long flowing blonde hair and bright blue freakin' satellite-dishes for eyes an' a snazzy black freakin' sailor dress with a stoopid fancy collar and those spiffy freakin' sunglasses and cutsey-wutsey boots. The freakin' pearly white boots that made the coach cringe!"

It really wasn't fair. How were bitches like her allowed to grow up so goddamn perfect while Rhonda sat here with this curveless body and ratty dark brown hair. With dark watery-brown eyes and pasty Irish skin. With her flat chest and fat butt. She glared at the mirror across the hall, daring it to crack.

"She can't even move with a bust like that! When she ran, her breasts would bounce all over the freakin' place! I had to cover my eyes! I'm tellin' ya, Ma, it's her popularity and her body that got her the freakin' spot! It ain't fair! Fuckin' bitch!" Rhonda got up and walked through the front door of her house, slamming it on the way to the kitchen where her mother was. She was wearing her favourite salmon pink apron, endowed with garish, big yellow letters that read "#1 GAL". Rhonda's mother was far from perfect. But she loved her. She loved her like no-one else she knew and she was the one person she truly respected.

However, today all Lisa did was roll her eyes and scoff at her daughter's voice going on and on about her track and field try outs.

"Baby, there'll be another chance next year-"

"NO THERE WON'T, MA! It's freakin' SPRING! Not even that! It's freakin' May! I've got 'til June, that's next month! And once that time comes, I'm freakin' outta here! I'm a freakin' senior, and my high school life hasn't been goin' too well recently -"

"Especially since Shawn left."

Rhonda pretended she hadn't heard. She didn't like talking about Shawn, it only upset her and brought back painful memories of the good times they could never have again.

"'Sides, y'know that the championship costs money! People from all over are gonna be payin' -"

"I remember how he used to be round here every Saturday, he'd always ask to see you. And then you two'd go out front and race all up and down the street together…"

"PEOPLE FROM ALL OVER THE WORLD ARE GONNA BE PAYIN' LOADS O' CASH. To see the best runners and gymnasts out there. And I'm not gonna be in it! If I got in, who knows how much money I coulda earned? Now how am I s'posed to get my college fund? This was my chance, Ma! And fuckin' Wanda Perry took it from me! How am I s'posed to deal with this at school? People are gonna be talkin' 'bout how the unpopular twerp Rhonda Gillis didn't even make the Track and Field session!"

"Now, calm down, you. People at your school couldn't care less about the Track and Field session. They have their own problems to worry about. You just keep your head down and all this'll blow right over, OK? You promise?"

"S'just not fuckin' fair!" Rhonda slammed her fist on the surface of the dinner table and immediately clutched at it in pain, before hiding it behind her back so her mother wouldn't see the redness of it already.

"Promise me, girl."

Rhonda scowled. "…I promise."

Lisa turned around and put a hand to her daughter's dirt-covered cheek. She could see small tears ready to fall from her lovely brown eyes and sighed. She put a hand in her apron's pocket and slowly began to pull something out.

"M-Ma...? Is that...Is that...!-" Rhonda was interrupted by her mothers opposite hand covering her mouth.

"Shh shh shh! I got these for you as a special present. I know you've had a tough year and I know you miss your friend. Shawn was a lovely young boy and I understand how close you were,"

"Mom, this isn't about Shawn."

"But he's in there. Along with everything else that's bothering you. You can't just go on being depressed all the time, especially not for your final year of Highschool. Don't worry, baby, you'll find another way to make some money, but 'til then...you just relax and try to enjoy what you've already got."

Lisa removed two white thin slips of paper with names and dates printed on the side of them. Rhonda's eyes widened and she finally let her sweet, relieving tears slip from her eyes as her scowl turned into the biggest most beautiful smile that she had shown in four years. She squealed and grabbed the slips of paper and quickly hugged them to her chest before pouncing excitedly on her mother.

"I LOVE YA, MA! Oh my God! Oh my- FREAKIN' RED SOX TICKETS! OH MY GOD! THANK YOU SO MUCH!" Lisa began to laugh as she wiped the tears from her daughter's face.

"Ok, ok, now calm down. Unfortunately, as much as I love it here in Boston, and as much as I love the Sox, I can't stand all the noise. So, you might wanna try 'n' find someone else to go with, alright?"

Rhonda nodded her head quickly and ran upstairs to her room. A few seconds passed. The next thing Lisa could hear was her daughter's clumpy footsteps racing back down the staircase and back into the kitchen, where Rhonda appeared to give her mother a quick peck on the cheek before turning around to make the arduous journey a second time.

"Remember, baby, that game ain't 'til next month. Calm down and be patient, alright?" Lisa had to repeat herself twice before being heard.

"SURE THING, MA!" Rhonda yelled and slammed her door shut. Squeals and the sounds of moving bed springs could be heard in the kitchen. Lisa smirked and shook her head.

"I swear, it's almost as easy to make that girl happy as it is to make her upset..." Lisa went back to her cooking and turned on the radio.

Lisa worried for her daughter. That girl often forgot that some people aren't too happy about her being so serious about such boyish things…She hoped she'd be alright out there in the big, bad world.

Oh, what a wonderful day this was turning out to be.

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**derp**


End file.
